zipfinger:

An antidote to the idea that Australian literature is “too nice”.

honeyforthehomeless:

Peanuts

honeyforthehomeless:

Peanuts

So tonight I spent my evening watching Essendon destroy the bulldogs and drinking beer with a couple of american guys who were here on a holiday. We had fun, they introduced me to an American version of pool, they left, and a couple of cute missionarys showed up.

Let me first say I was nothing but respectful to these missionaries. I may be an atheisth, but I’m not a jerk. Their names were Ashley and Andrea and they were both 19, and they were here fighting child sex slavery. Then their fellow missionaries showed up (aged in their mid forties). One of them (I think his name was LJ) pointed our whilst standing in front of me in a rather threatening manner that their mission wasn’t to get drunk and play pool with attractive young Australians (I took it as a compliment). This lead to a disagreement in which I requested this gentlement join me outside, however he declined and went on his way (weak prick). I apologised to the other missionaries, they apologised to me, we parted on good terms.

The reason I’m talking about this is that I find it amazing that someone so religious and self righteous could automatically question the intentions of a young man unknown to them. I was playing pool, they approached me, words were said, arguments ensued, and before I knew it it was all over.

It’s amazing the situations you end up in in a foreign country.

They bite. It hurts. That is all.

First let me warn you all, part of this blog post is going to have you thinking ‘that’s wayyyy to much information’.

Last night I did many things. I did something that I was looking forward to, something I probably shouldn’t have done and something unbelievably hiliarious if not somewhat embarrasing… I caught the sleeper train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai. A train trip that is meant to take 14 hours but turned into 16 and a half.

I was really looking forward to the experience (and I still enjoyed it… to a degree). I showed up to the station 2 hours early, got a coffee (or three, somethings don’t change no matter what country you’re in) and had a long conversion with a fellow Aussie tourist who was catching a train at a similar time but in the opposite direction. The nice Thai woman with broken English at the tourist information counter told me to show up to the platform half an hour early to board the train, which I did, and then I found my berth, got my sleeping gear together and settled in for the long haul.

So then comes the thing I probably shouldn’t have done, although it was fun all the same. Roughly four hours in (about midnight) I decided that sleeping wasn’t working, and that no sleep would be had without a large amount of alcohol (a logical conclusion for a then 21 year old). I climbed out of my berth and went wandering along the train looking for anyone who spoke English and looked like they might be carrying a bottle of scotch… It was midnight, alright. I wasn’t thinking straight.

All I can say is thank christ for the Lobsters! (And my apologies if you didn’t get the reference). I came across a group of british guys who had the same idea as me, however they were smart enough to have the idea before they got on the train. There was four of them, each with their own bottle of spirit’o’choice and they were happily getting hammered and making it known to the rest of the carriage. I asked if I could buy some alcohol from them and they declined but were happy to give up a glass… and then another, and another. Around the same time that we were abused by an important looking Thai guy in a fancy uniform was around the time that I decided I was sloshed enough and began to stumble back to my berth. Not before thanking the poms and stating that if I ran into them in Chiang Mai the first few rounds were on me… atleast I think that’s what I said.

Then it hit my stomach like a fridge flung at a kid on a bike. I had to go and I had to go now. I won’t go into detail (your imagination can do the work) but when the only toilet available to you is a squat toilet on a foot high platform in a bathroom that hasn’t be cleaned since the train was built (probably around the same time as the cold war) and you need to do more than just splash the boots things can go a little bit awry. I didn’t fall in, but I did take a slippery stumble off the platform, I’ll leave the rest of the description up to you…

I awoke in my berth, feeling well rested but with a massive headache, an hour out of Chiang Mai (which actually turned out to be three) and enjoyed laying there watching the beautiful Northern Thai scenery crawl past the train (yes, the train was really that slow.)

Still, an interesting way to travel.

katiefinlay63 asked: How are you travelling? (I signed up to tumblr JUST so I could ask you that)

I’m travelling okay. Bangkok was really full on, but I’m in Chiang Mai now which is really nice and relatively quiet. Missing home a little, but I’m travelling through a beautiful country so I can’t complain!

Bangkok. Thailands city of angels… in reality, it’s a city full of raggity men asking if you need a tuk-tuk or a taxi and telling you that whatever place you want to go to is closed for a religious holiday. People say that first impressions never last, but the impressions are pretty consistent:

1. If you’re behind the wheel of a motor-vehicle, anything goes.

2. If you’re a passenger on a motorbike, fuck safety gear.

3. If you want to go to a temple, or anywhere really, it’s closed. But there’s another open that’s only open one day a year… and all you have to do is go to three shops first and buy a heap of shit.

4. Tuk-tuks are really, reallllllllly fun.

To be honest. I love this city. It reminds me a lot of when I lived in Hong Kong; the smells, the atmosphere, the none stop noise. Not much more to report from my first 24 hours in this crazy land. But I’m sure I’ll have some interesting stories for you in the next few days.

honeyforthehomeless:

Charles Bukowski